why ?

why should I know you? why? but regrets it always comes last, painful very painful. pain that never I suppose and now I feel like  that , oh God why he could make me comfortable? why do not You send someone who would be wholly mine, I like hanging with a stem parasite that already have flowers, I think I want to scream and release all my anxiety but I felt a sense of pity more than my hatred against him, whether I should be like this forever ? the parasite and the parasite, no! I try to forget him but the more I try to forget it increasingly can not, maybe I should stay away but still can not, I realized he was not going to be someone who is always there when I need and always stands beside me, but it was just a dream that I'll never achieve, maybe later I'll get over it when someone else comes in my life, help me through all this God I believe You have other plans :')